i have notebooks dated from 2007 with scribbles of the amount of calories i ate that day..i have a feeling im trapped in this forever.
talking to my sister always calms me down.
anxiety.
i just had three anxiety attacks in a row..i need to get away, im sick of living on this island, in this town, going to a ghetto school with spoiled assholes who get everything handed to them, im sick of not having enough money, not having a car, not being able to do what i want because i dont have money and im not living where i want to live, being waitlisted at my dream school, and not applying to any other schools like an idiot, my rooms always messy and my mom doesnt let me forget it, im fatter than a whale, i disgust myself, i hate myself, i know i shoulldnt think like this but i am, i have problems in my head that i cant control that make me feel like this..and even though i know eventually things will fall into place, i feel like im 10 steps behind and i feel very hopeless and i just need something to get these emotions out of me.sorry about this rant. rant over.
